Christchurch Earthquake Awakens Thousand-Year-Old Mummy

BREAKING NEWS A thousand year old mummy, believed be a thousand years old, has awoken following the Christchurch earthquake. It was widely  assumed that the mummy, from Canterbury Museum, had simply been placed in storage, but it has been seen many times walking around the city.

It has been reported that the mummy has been making weird noises, and apparently has an extreme dislike of trams. As it continues to roam the city it seems to show revulsion at the bus terminal in the heart of the city, and seems to be baffled and confused by the one way traffic system, which it also apparently hates.

The Mummy is believed the be that of Pharaoh Athfield. Once a mighty ruler, said to have a 'my way or the highway' approach to ruling his empire. It is also speculated that the pharaoh introduced some of the weirdest building designs ever, and was discovered in his almost mythical, misshapen pyramid.