Seeing Eye Gulls Banned in the UK

The UK has become the first country, or league of countries, to ban seeing eye gulls. The gulls, used by the blind to guide them through daily life, have been outlawed after numerous complaints.


Seeing eye gulls have come under constant criticism since they were introduced in 1993 as an alternative to dogs. Opponents of the gulls say that they are unreliable, preferring to lead the blind to scraps of food and rotting hedgehog carcasses as opposed to guiding them across busy streets. Business owners complain of excessive squawking, stealing food, and seagull poop contamination.
'They are a nuisance, simply put,' said store owner Daisy Potts. 'The gulls have to go.'


However, proponents of the seeing eye gulls say that the issues are being overstated. 'Gulls have proven to be more effective than dogs,' said trainer Jeff Rumble. 'Gulls get tethered to the owner like kites, and they can see everything from the air, a birds eye view. Gulls also, due to flying instead of walking, do not take up valuable sidewalk spaces like dogs do.'
Rumble is resigned to the ban. 'There is a very vocal minority out here, funded by the Labrador kennel conspiracy, their sole aim is to take out the competition.'

The Daily Cheesecake approached several people making full use of seeing eye gulls, all of them gave very positive reviews fo the gulls performance on the job. 'He's very affectionate,' war veteran Charles Lindour, 80. 'They are more personal than dogs can ever be, and he has even led me to discover food I never knew I had.'

The public consultation on the proposal to ban seeing eye gulls will remain open for another week. have your say: seeingeyegulban@ukgov.uk